Sunday, July 19, 2009

Inventions of the future.

When I was 9 years old I had two great inventions. My mom just bought a caller ID and I realized text could be transferred through telephone cords. I thought that radio stations should be able to do this with telephone cords and display the names of musicians and songs that were playing. Little did I know that this would happen through the internet and satellites. When XM Radio came out I thought, great, there goes my great invention done better. The next invention came at the age of 11 when I invented Roller Blades with shocks in the wheels, those too became a reality but not by me. Those are just a couple examples.
But now in this new segment entitled "Inventions of the Future" I will be letting out my latest ideas for inventions that I think would work. Only to let them be discovered and invented for the purposes of human advancement.

1) In the future television, computers and telephones will all operate via free public wifi and will all be variations of the same thing. Phones will be full out computers, tv's will be phones and computers will be tvs and vice versa. Televisions will have a computer operating system and hard drive where it will store television shows, and movies and any other file that is desired. There will be a built in webcam that will allow for video conferencing and the remote control will operate like a wireless mouse or wii remote.
(you might be saying to yourself, "ain't that the idea of AppleTV?" Naw!, It aint't, you don't know when I thought of that either!)

2) Individually Wrapped Frozen Pizza Slices. Look, imediate nay sayers can be shut down by he individually wrapped cheeses. Its a soccer mom thang, ya'll don't know about that. You might got three kids and all of them want a different kind of pizza so its a waste to make a whole frozen pizza and those individual pans are too expensive and the kids hardly ever eat the whole thing. Just unwrap, pop them in the toaster oven and you're good. (And pizza pockets are gross.)

3) Back to technology. In the future we need to think about our cars. and I'm not talkin about flying cars, i'm not talking about gas or power. I'm talking about systems. Right now, we are leaving behind the cd player in the car and starting to plug in our ipods, but in the future, you won't even need to bring your ipod, your car will have a built in hard drive. Prolly a terabyte put in the trunk like you used to put in them six disk changers. The stereo will be a sophisticated touch screen interface that will connect to the internet via wifi (3G network in the early years) and gps. Much like the television there will be a built in webcam and telephone application that goes based off of your internet telephone number that you will also use for all of your other appliances, television, cellphone, computer. And oh yeah, you wont have a cell phone plan, you'll just buy the device and operate via wifi. (But thats when wifi is everywhere)

I give the invention of these three things, two years to go from luxury to necessity.

Cooking

I think I have thought to myself a total of three times that I would like to start cooking more.
Each time I think that I try to cook and end up mildly disappointed. Its not that my food is gross, but i will say that for all of that effort in buying ingredients and preparing and then cooking, the return is very meager indeed. Not to mention the clean up.
For me the real miracle is in food that you don't have to buy, or cook or clean up after. The food is always amazing and I'm always happy at the end. That's why I love america and why being a kid was so great.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

some thangs I didn't know


I didn't know A&E gave ex-tampa bay buccaneers wide-out and ESPN analyst, Keyshawn Johnson, his own interior design show. I watched it today and thoroughly enjoyed myself.

(they ended up not going with the wallpaper, much to keyshawn's dismay)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Did you know that kip takes pictures?


yeah, kip from napoleon dynamite. This is hilarious.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Jupiter jack

Man sittin here watchin the tv and billy mays comes on sellin the Jupiter jack. Go to jupiterjack.com to see what it's about. He was definately at level ten the whole time. There was a role playing segment when he actually used the device. It was also at a level ten.

Going back to indiana

I always have a particular experience whenever I travel. I tend to become engaged with the pertinence of where I live which is Indiana and reflect on the places I've lived in the past. (I.e. Michigan, out west, down south) maybe I will one day live in the east although I do frequent the idea of becoming a fisherman in Mexico or a house painter in Spain. But I am a terrible fisherman and knowing my luck they are probably really into wallpaper in Spain. So when I do travel, which is not often, (I do not know if that is enough or not enough) but when I do I become caught up with the idea of going back to Indiana. You know the old Jackson 5 song. As I was driving north through indiana I took notice of a true Midwestern sunset. The plane farmland with dilapitated barns and hawks perched on highway signs. The sun, orange and round bursting through the straight and tall stick like trees in the distance. I saw with my eyes the establishing shot that gave meaning and metaphor to my trip back to my home state. And that old Jackson 5 song played on the radio. "Cause that's where my baby's from. "