Thursday, July 31, 2008

cousin weezy




So here we see cousin weezy. This weekend my family and I went on a family vacation slash reunion and it was good. We took a three state tour starting in michigan and we saw all my white kin first. and that was cool my aunt uncle cousins and grandma she is such a cute old lady who has a hard time not crying when she sees me. they are doin good. and I saw my boy sean and we decided to make a new comic under the pen names of Killer Schmeldon (me) and Dixon McGlintok (Sean) It will be pretty cool. We are going to have the fate of the world rest on the shoulders of people who don't give a sh*. That's right black people. As I went back up to my home town and then to chicago and michigan city I realised that living in bloomington has made me sensitive to how many black people are out on the streets at night. I remember driving down town kalamazoo and saying out loud on accident, "there are too many black people outside." I said this to my best friend sean who is black. in fact we are both black. I remember a few months ago i went through this whole like black crusade, but not in a black crusader kind of way, about representing my race and all that, but I think bloomington is making me white bread mayonnaise. I tried to subdue my tongue and stop myself from saying such tonterias but then as we drove through chicago, my dad said the same thing. and I think he was even more uncomfortable than i was. but the way he said it was more of a fear of what they could do to us mixed with a pity and wanting to help them get off the streets, but mine was more of a "why are there so many black people out here?" kind of way, much more racist. well maybe its the same but mine is more of an eighties racist which is not quite politically correct but not censored either and my dad is more of a late nineties to now. I really shouldn't be calling my dad and myself racists but its not like uncle ruckus or anything - I'm really tired right now. I love black people, and I love being black, I just wish they wouldn't push their babies in strollers at midnight. Our chicago trip was great. We visited my black kin. We saw several aunts and uncles. i think my favorite was auntie elaine who is big weezy's mom. She been going through cancer treatment and lost all her hair. She's crazy though, she reminded me of yoda, but in a very endearing kind of way. She used to be a singer and an actress and used to tour with a band singing doowhop. Her favorite wizard of oz character is the lion, which is what I played in high school. Later in life she married a white man named joe. Joe has a cool accent. When he tries to say "through", it comes out "tru". He showed us a way to get to our next destination without going tru the ghetto. we left there and met another uncle who is old but still rocks the dreads, we ate popeye's chicken at his house and watched hairspray on tv. I really couldn't get over that john travolta was in that fat suit. neither could I. When we got to michigan city, IN we went to the beach and built my brother and sisters' first sand castle. and then we made one of my sisters a mermaid tail in the sand. I got sunburnt. Then we went to Ryan's for classic american buffet food. My grandma loves that place. We saw her and lisa. lisa is her roommate. They've been roommates for forever. My grandma loves me very much. then my crazy uncle bobby came in looking head to toe like lil wayne. and bobby is crazy, because he is 42 years old and actually tries to pass himself off as lil wayne. so now I'm passing him off as lil wayne to basically anyone who is naive enough to believe me. which will include almost every kid at banneker. suckers. call me a wanksta now. when we were at ryan's one of my dads childhood friends randomly came to ryans at the same time. his name is aqua and he's bigger than both my dad and bobby, but they said that when they were kids that they wouldn't let him go home and they would make him spend the night and steal his bike and chain it up so he couldn't leave. I just thought to myself, if that was now, he would have just punk'd them but back then big kids were always push overs. Aqua. The biggest difference between these three amigos was a lot, but could be represented by their clothes. Bobby was dressed like what he thought lil wayne might wear. Aqua wore a button up shirt that had the appearance of some kind of silky polyester with a design on it and some shorts. The kind of the thing you see most forty year old black men wearing. Then my dad wore a white polo shirt tucked into his blue jeans all form fitted and his black new balance casual walking shoes. He's completely suburbonitish. but you know what, he owns it. and thats what matters. like take me for example, no one wants to admit that they are a black hipster. but you know what, black hipsters are cooler than regular hipsters, cause they aint snobby about it, and its cause its kinda like how there are white people who like to dance, but black people are just kinda better. I don't make the rules folks, sorry!

Friday, July 4, 2008

last week I was asking some goodly youth of america what word they would use if they had to describe God with it. I asked this because generally the strongest quality that we see in God is the strongest quality that we ourselves posses. Sometimes thats good sometimes its bad depending on your feelings of God. One kid said unpredictable. I didn't know what this meant. First off is God really unpredictable? God has a set of rules that he follows and He pretty much sticks to those, if He didn't he'd be a changing God and if a changing God then a lying God and if a lying God then no God at all, cause God don't lie, ya dig? so what did this goodly youth mean? I mean, I know the kid is a believer, but why does he think God is so unpredictable and what in this kid's life is making him so unpredictable. who knows.