Wednesday, February 27, 2008

But they're soooooooooo comfortable!!!!!

Alright, so I could clearly care less about doing a blog about some ugg boots, buuuuut there is a new off brand everybody, called EMU's !!!!!!!!!! and they are soooooo killer!!!!!! ok, no, sorry, that was...dumb

Here's the deal, last night I was chillin at the crib with my roommate and his lady, and she is an inspiring sorostitute and as such got a pair of them boots from the holiday gift giving extravaganza. And as it turns out, she has some killer glockenspiels for feet which happens to be my size and guess what! NOT SO COMFORTABLE!

As you can see I also tried the closest thing to leggings as well and it is not warm to go outside like that, but look what it did to my butt! Alright!!!! yowzas!

So what's the point of this anyway, no hay! (that's spanish for there isn't). I'm just showing off my butt and the fact that my roommate's chick has man feet.


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Can your monkey do the dog?

a while ago I was perusing the public library music selection back when I did not owe the library $21.89, and I came across a cd that I fell in love with: The Best of Rufus Thomas: Do the Funky Somethin

The reason is because rufus thomas looks exactly like my old shot put coach, Ricky Johnson a.k.a. coach trap. (photo not available, if anyone has one please hook a brotha up with a link!)

That is all.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I am in class right now, not doin NOTHIN'

so for some reason I keep getting these opportunities to redeem myself from being a racist by being a black activist.

last night my sister came into town with her son and her mother. Her mom (michelle) was in a play down in the fine arts building. I think I knew that Michelle did acting but I didn't know she did it all the time. The only thing I knew about was this movie she did in the late nineties called Vacant Lot which according to my sister, who was about ten years old at the time, aired on BET.

so I decided to go to this play called "Sonnets for the Sistahs" which was a series of performance based poems that were supposed to elicit in black women a desire to search for a man that is good and hard working and not to settle for no "good for nothin' type of brothah".

My first question to my sister was why do you think they chose to spell sister with the "ah" at the end. To which she replied, "I DON'T KNOW!!!" I don't think she wanted to be asked a question that would force her to think.

My second question to the director was, are the poems actually sonnets or is that just a catchy title. To which she replied, "Some are."

As I watched what seemed to be a play about black women being on an unreachable pedistool and that all the brothahs in the world need to step up they game, I realized the central message, then like I always can't help but from doing, I said what I thought during the comment section.

Its like this. I applied the message of this play to Freakonomics, the book written by an economic professor from Chicago
so if you apply men and women to supply and demand you got freakonomics. The example I gave is if you were to take ice cream and say everybody in the world only wanted mint chocolate chip, then every ice cream shop in the world would sell only mint chocolate chip. If every woman wanted a good man, and didn't accept any less, then eventually all the men would change and adapt and become good men. Because men will always do what it takes to hook up with a woman.

The last sentance I said at the event was "then all the men would make themselves become mint chocolate chip" and then all of the woman did that simultanious group "aww". And that my friends, is game.

The most enjoyable thing about this whole experience was the audience. I don't know if I can go to a white audience play ever again. You know the stereotype of a black woman in a movie theatre, well imagine fifty black woman who all assume that because its a play that they can actually interact with the actors. It was kinda like when I went to the black church back in the day. I don't even know how to express how fun it was to listen to the audience. It was wild.

So anyway, getting back to my comments, the author really seemed to think that I hit the nail on the head and said something really profound. I guess what I'm sayin is, that if I were on the movie undercover brother and I was part of the brotherhood, than I would either be, "profound brothah" or most likely "light skinn'ded brothah"

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Oh my word!

oh my word, oh my word! I think that I am in the business of things that can go worse.

I'll be honest, lately things have not been going well. My car was broke for about two weeks, just wouldn't start and I was like dang, cain't get it fixed cause I don't have any money and have been laid off since Thanks Giving and haven't found another job. Then I think I get it fixed and it works for like three days then dies. so I had to go and figure out how to fix it myself cause I wasn't about to spend way too much money taking it to Jerry's Diagnostic. So then I got it all squared away and on my way to school today, just after I had to break through a layer of ice on my car, I get into an accident with a taxi cab right in front of the police station. I say police station like that made things worse, it seemed like they were the last to show up. anyway no one is hurt, I guess that's what's important, but my car is busted up and I can't afford to fix it.

Well so what, here's the thing, nobody really cares, they might care that I'm not hurt but other than that, sucks for you dude. I've never looked for a hand out in my life. If there is a hand out, I take it, but that's cause its there, but I don't be askin', you know why? cause you can't count on them to come. Take my brother for example, this nigga is a grown man, about to be 20 years old, had a decent job workin for sprint, then baught a car, and then moved in with his girlfriend. so i said had a job right? this nigga quit his job because it was boring and then didn't even have any back up, what an idiot, man if i had a job right now, I swear, you wouldn't see me quiting until i knew i had something better coming along. Then he can't pay his car bill and he hasn't gone in to register his plates so he's got like four tickets, so what does he do? calls my dad to ask him to pay his car payment come on nigga! have some sense! that fool is on his own. So check it, you know i feel like the smash right now. Got suspended from three games, lost his scholarship at TMU, he doesn't have anything esle that can be takin' from him.
We all know Job.
But like the smash mama said, when God closes a door, He opens a window. Let's just hope that's not some church sign catch phrase, and that its true. Nahmeen?!?

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

a couple of things

first off american juniors isn't as good as I remember it,

wait--what is american juniors you ask? A show slightly better than American Idol but patterned after american Idol only its for kids. Ryan Seacrest was host, Debbie Gibbson, Gladys Knight and Jordan Knight (no relation) were the judges. When i first watched the show I was absolutely enamored by the kids' talent and charm, I thought they sang like angels, and now I realise that they sing like kids. But they still have some charm. this video is what made me come to this conclusion.

Which brings me to my next point. Lately I have been obsessed with the song "make your own kind of music" by mama cass, I first learned of it because of Lost, much like most of america and apparently brazil ( (lucerillo) no thats not right I heard it on american juniors first because I did not miss one episode of that season and a large part of me wishes they would bring it back. (It was a time my family bonded) The point is "make your own kind of music" makes me as happy as listening to Neil Diamond

yesterday night, which was last night, I was on the radio along with several other young black highschoolers from my surrounding area. I didn't know I was going to be on the radio, and I didn't know I was going to be speaking in front of a crowd. on monday after my acting class I was just on my way out of the building when I saw a large congregated group of black people. Since the last time I saw that many black people on campus was during the summer for the upward bound program i decided to investigate. It turns out that it was a black history month function called the african american read in. Basically several teenagers from the surrounding highschools were preselected to read langston hughes poems. but during the middle there was an open mic session and they asked if anyone wanted to say something. So I said I do, and I proceeded to speak to the crowed for a couple minutes about being black and white and racism and other topics which is very ironic and slightly hypocritical considering I offend aziz ansari by my last blog. In the original text I gave a very idiotic description of him, which was more of an inside joke I made about rednecks failing at political correctness, any way, aziz did a random blog search on his name and my blog came up and he got pissed. So pissed that he actually made a comment on the blog which was cold as ice. When I got his comment I felt like doo doo, but not just any doo doo, but like doo doo that is made fun of by all the other doo doos, its like if the guy that simon said looked like a bush baby made fun of you for your audition. anyway, I wanted to cry almost, but don't worry I didn't. anyway, I found his email and emailed him to apologize and to retract my completely racist remark and he emailed me back to say its alright and then I sent a link to my most popular youtube video, because I'm retarted. I hope that he doesn't do a random blogsearch of his name again because then this one might come up and he might not think my apology was sincere but just a weird way of me getting a funny story out of being stupid. Because if he didn't think it was sincere, maybe he would then seek out to destroy my career as a ridiculously famous person for no reason AAGGGHHHH!!!!! its a dismembered arm!

And THAT is why we don't make racist blogs!